2/28/09
do you remember when we had milkshakes?
2/27/09
happy fuckin friday!
2/26/09
one two, fuck you.
I had a better day today. CJ was back. (: It was nice see him today. He seemed to be happy and we had some pretty funny conversations. I definately have something to make fun of him about now whenever he makes fun of me for my nerd class. lmao. Hopefully our mission works !
I don't understand history. I am going to fail my test. I did not understand the math. I am going to fail my homework. I understood spanish. Amanda and I laughed everytime someone said the word "cafeteria". I understand english. I cannot believe Lennie killed Curley's wife. I understand my nerd class. That is why I am so far ahead. I understand biology. I want to punch Mr. Hinchman in the face.
I talked to Maria today, but barely. She always says one second then never responds. That always happens.
I think that pretty much covers it all.
2/25/09
i'm gonna straight jab you in the face.
CJ was not there today and I seriously did not know what to do. The day was like not the same. Like the times when I usually see him were so different and it was just so... weird.
The day only got stranger. The conversations with Chase and Leslie are becoming more and more awkward everyday. I seriously do not know what's going on in Chase's mind and I don't think I want to find out. I can never tell when he's telling the truth or when he's actually lying. But I do believe every word that he says.
It was good to talk to Hassan today, though. I miss him and I seriously do not know why we even stopped talking in the first place. If I had some classes with him, then I know we would still be best friends though. (:
Jessica Kassis is seriously starting to piss me off. Every single day she is like trying to stop Haley and I from being friends. It is so annoying. She consistently gives me reasons of why I shouldn't like her. And she always tells me that we have an unhealthy friendship. Like honestly, do I care? A few weeks ago I made the decision to stay friends with Haley. And if Jessica honestly thinks I'm going to stop just because she wants me to, then she's a dumbass.
It was fun to hang out with Haley and Rachel again finally. It's been too long. Our Wednesdays will not go back to how they usually are until Lauren decides to hang out with us. Today she had a reasonable explanation. I hope that she is okay.
I seriously miss Maria more than anything and I have no fricken idea why she is acting like such a bitch. I hate it more than anything when she turns her phone off without telling me. And I hate it even more when she doesn't even make an effort into talking to me. We're supposed to be best friends, but as of now, it seriously seems like I don't even know her anymore.
Luckily, like always, Ashley was there for me to talk to. I don't know what I would have done if she couldn't talk for some reason. I was seriously going crazy. Everyone and everything is just pissing me off lately and I have no idea why. It's crazy dude. I like the days where I'm always reassured that Ashley is going to be there for me. We've been through a lot and sometimes I worry. It's dumb though, because I shouldn't. I think that if I were to ever lose her again, I would practically die. But everything's going good now, so I don't see that happening anytime soon.
Seriously, I think I should just stop worrying about things. Everytime that I start to worry, something happens and completely like contradicts everything that I thought about it. It's extremely annoying, like no lie. I don't even understand. It's like I worry just to scare myself. And I hate that! Like seriously, why do I worry? There's literally no point. Everything will be okay in the end, and if it's not, then it's not the end.
2/24/09
best friend to biggest annoyance.
2/23/09
mi hermano es mi mejor amigo.
2/22/09
you can never get too much ncis.
No one could hang out today, of course. But I guess it's alright because I wasn't motivated to do anything.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow, and I'm extremely tired. I'm going to bed.
2/21/09
father and mother i love you.
2/20/09
i'm a dwarf.
I have grown to love first hour. I dislike how it goes by so fast. Leslie and Chase always put me in a good mood. Haha, even though Chase did get raped. (: But he liked it ! Ahaha.
I have absolutely no idea what was going on in my third hour today. I was distracted the whole time. And then the random phone call only made me more distracted. Haha, I have like a 20 minute voicemail on my phone from CJ now, and I can't listen to more than two minutes of it at a time. I'm dumb !
Haley was fricken pissing me off today, like more than ever. She's really starting to scare me. She fricken just whipped out a tampon and asked me if I'd go in the bathroom with her to put it in. Like seriously. What the fuck! I was freaked out and didn't want to talk to her! Then I was so proud of myself for screaming at her for the whole Jessica issue.Jessica was pretty happy about that too. (:
I was so fucking happy today because I finally got the chance to talk to James ! I miss him so so so so so so much ! Like seriously. And you know what made everything better?! I saw Roberto ! He loooked so cuute all dressed up ! (:
The fact that there is something extremely wrong with Lauren is really starting to scare me. I don't understand why this is so randomly happening to her. I am honestly scared out of my mind. I just wish everything is going to be okay.
Omfg, today was the only day this whole week that I could not write in fifth hour ! I was honestly pissed ! I think Ashley and Adam were too much of a distraction with their color guard pictures and Adam's recreation of them. Haha, they're the coolest seniors I know.
People were pissing me off more than ever today. Seriously, from today on, I will refuse to talk to homos who ruin my day.
Today I realized how good of a friend Adam is to me. And today I realized I was dumb to think I ever wanted him to get out of my life.
I found out that I was worrying for absolutely no reason at all. My current relationship is going great and I was dumb to think that would change so quickly. I'm happy, and I can tell CJ is too. From the minute that he hugged me this morning, I knew that nothing was wrong, and that nothing ever was.
2/19/09
someone needs to be punched.
2/18/09
you seem happy. i am happy.
So I guess today was a good day, besides something completely stupid ruining it.
I woke up earlier than I was supposed to today, but in a good mood. For the first time in forever we had Pepsi in the house so I got to drink it this morning! I dislike how I can never drink the full can of the tiny cans.
Leslie and I kinda connected in a different level today. It kinda made me realize that she is going through what I went through a few months back. I tried to help her out, but I'm not sure if I told her the right advice. Her situation was a lot stickier than mine.
I was surprised to get a 38 on my composition. And I was happy. I wasn't too sure about having Amanda as a partner to begin with, but she grew on me. She's a sweet soul. (:
I wonder just how many times I have ever mentioned how much I hate english class. There is honestly no point to it. I think if Kayla or Missy weren't in that class, then I would go crazy. And I don't think I could get any crazier than I already am.
Uhm, I hate people who like to make fun of me for dating CJ. I really don't see anything wrong with him. There's no need to laugh and bring it up and laugh even more. Some people need to be punched.
I was so happy today because in 5th hour my writer's block decided to go away! I wrote a page and a half on my journey. And I'm still not done with it. I was so happy just to be writing again. I honestly forgot how good it felt to just let everything out. I think that when I'm done with this I'm going to be really happy with it's outcome. Or at least I hope so.
So the thing that ruined my day- the note from "Ashley". At first when I read it, I did not believe that she was actually with Josh. But then as I thought about it more and more, I started to kinda believe it. It didn't even piss me off that she was dating him, because I honestly have no feelings for him at all anymore. It just pissed me off for one, because she has been lying to me about it and went behind my back. It clearly would have been less painful if she were to just tell me. And two, because all I could think about was how Jake would have felt if he knew about it. I thought it was a bad thing on her part, to be leading Jake on and kinda in a way cheating on Josh at the same time? The last thing I wanted to see her to do was to do something that I would do. I knew it would only end up hurting her in the end.
So being the dumbass that I am, I felt like I needed to tell CJ.Luckily, he was able to stay after today because his sister is in Alabama. Like honestly, when did this happen? Well anyway... The look on his face when I told him the whole deal was priceless. I could tell that he was kinda upset or at least disappointed. And I didn't blame him. I was too. He was there to save my ass from ignoring a phone call. I didn't know what to say to Ashley, so I thought ignoring her would be the best way to go? Well, I'm dumb and it didn't take me until later to realize that I was wrong. We ended up talking things over, and I found out the whole thing was a lie. That made me a lot happier, and my day was no longer ruined. It only got better after that.
My walk home was amazing. I don't really know how to explain it, or even describe it. I think it's cute how's he's constantly making fun of me and then denying it. And how's he's always looking out for me. Awh, I'm so happy. (: I felt like a fricken idiot though, standing at the corner for like 10 minutes. I seriously would not let him go. I'm sucha freakkk. :P But you can't blame me for liking him. I didn't want him to leave, :( It's been wayy too long dude. He's so cute and I'm looking forward to this weekend.
I got home 10 minutes late today, and I got yelled at too. But it was definatley worth it. (:
2/17/09
speed, stupidity, smiles, steak fries and shinedown.
2/16/09
what do you call that? running, i think.
2/15/09
whoo hoo!
2/14/09
it's valentine's day!
It's definately not a sweet idea to turn your phone off when you know someone is trying to call you. I was honestly pissed. And my whole idea of thinking a nap would make everything better? Yeah, I was wrong. The phone call that woke me was only Josh telling me to let Betsie out. Was it really that hard for him to let her out himself? And the text that woke me was only Haley saying how Tyler didn't lie to her. Whoo hoo. Like I care.
Clearly, I woke up from my nap in a bad mood. I was extremely disappointed. I knew that CJ was a ditcher, but I didn't think he'd ditch me today. And since he was with Jake, then it wouldn't have been fair to Ashley for her to be ditched too, even though she is also a ditcher. It was hard to Ashley and I to decide if we were still going to go without them. We had a fear of being called lesbians, but an even bigger fear or them getting pissed if for some reason they did show up. I was more than happy to get a text telling me that they were going. From that moment on, I knew the day could only get better.
The movie was kinda strange, and I didn't understand it at all. I think I fell asleep because I was completely confused. But whatever. In the end, it was a pretty good Valentine's day. (:
2/13/09
it's friday the 13th!
2/12/09
i could never stay mad at you.
After school was fun, well, eventually. I was honestly extremely pissed that CJ forgot about us. But obviously I couldn't stay mad at him for long. I'm not really in the mood to go into all the details. We had some pretty cute conversations, when I was talking to him. And everything else that he did was just like extremely cute. (:
I think Jake is somewhat upset with me, because of the text messages that he read. I'm not sure if it's going to cause problems, or if he's just going to let it go. Hopefully nothing goes wrong.
Omg, I am so tired. Seriously, all I want to do right now is sleep.
2/11/09
i don't know what to do anymore.
2/10/09
necesito dormir.
Leslie was back today and I was very happy about that. We had a good time today. And I don't care what Chase says, I still don't believe he's dating Carly.
I got everything on my algebra right, thanks to Mike. And I even knew how to do it today! I was so glad that Mrs. Bennett was not there. I love Mr. Maxwell, even though Emily is right about his voice. It does kinda sound like fingernails on a chalkboard...
Amanda and I were so afraid for our dialouge today. It was definatley the hardest one yet, especially since she wasn't there yesterday. I pretty much had to teach her everything, and I did not think that she would be able to do it. But she did a really good job, and I was very proud of her. (: I'm definatley not ready for this stupid composition that we have to write. Like seriously, no notes? I will die.
Fourth hour, again, was boring. I don't even have to do anything and yet I can still pass the class. Mrs. Wells continued to go on and on about her ugly Mice of Men shirt. Like seriously, if it's ugly don't wear it.
Today I learned that Alfonso knows. That kinda upsetted me because I didn't really want him to find out. He was being an asshole about it, and pulling the whole "I don't think I'm wanted here anymore" kinda thing. And that's not even it. We don't even care if he's around or if he's gone. But his jealousy needs to be handled in a different way. I wanted to punch him in the face so badly today, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. If he doesn't fix things soon though, then he's definatley going to get it.
I was really pissed off today that Dylan left me. He's lucky I didn't straight jab, or whatever it is, him. Maybe if I knew what it meant then I would have! He did the ping pong thing today! So I forgave him and plus, he made up for it later. (:
I didn't even really get to talk to Ashley today. It really pisses me off how Jessica is always taking her away. But whatever, I'll let them be.
Thankfully Mr. O'Brien was not there today. I did not feel like doing anything, so I took longer breaks. And yet, I still managed to get everything done. This class is way too easy for me.
I absolutely cannot stand it when Mr. Hinchman does notes. I don't even listen to him because I can't stand him. The only thing I actually remember him saying is how a hummingbird was flying around his tent. And we care why? Dude, I can't stand him. And I never gave Jessica my paper to copy. I'll give it to her tomorrow.
I went to the doctor today. My finger is almost cleared up! I was so excited. I seriously thought I was going to cry when she froze it up or whatever. But I didn't, thank god. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with my toe either. Whoo Hoo!
Haley and I had a very deep conversation today. I was getting to the point where I didn't even want to talk to her anymore. Then Jessica made me realize that it's easier to just love someone or just not stand someone than to do both at the exact same time. So I made my decision, and I'm sticking with Haley.
Mike asked me out again today. I don't understand why he continues to ask, especially when he knows I'm not going to go out with him until I can see him. It really pisses me off how he kinda could careless if I were to cheat on him again. That is just strange. He's like leading himself to believe that I'm a good person. And he won't listen to me when I tell him it's not true. Whatever, I guess he just needs to get hurt again to realize it.
Anyway, I think that's all for today. I'm off to call Ashley and then eventually go to bed. Peaceee.
2/9/09
i've got headaches, and bad luck.
I do not think I did too well on the Spanish quiz. I completely forgot about accents and then when I remembered, I had no idea where any of them went.
English is seriously the most boring class I have ever had to take. I honestly do not do anything. Lunch was enjoyable today, besides the fact Billy had to be there. I think he is the only person in the entire world that I hate.
Mr. O'Brien yelled at Lauren, Angelica and I for being late when clearly we were there on time. He got me in a bad mood for pretty much the rest of the hour. And his stupid projects didn't help much. This class flies by.
Mr. Hinchman is so boring and sometimes I want to punch him in the face. His class is so easy though, so I guess it makes up for it. Jessica was making me laugh so hard because she would not talk when no one else was. Then I left without her because her depressed friend called. (:
I stayed after school with Haley today. It was kinda awkward and I didn't really know what to say to her. I talked to Kelie for the first time a long time. That was pretty enjoyable. I didn't realize how much I missed her.
I would have been failing math if it wasn't for Mike. He taught me how to do my homework. And believe me, it took forever for me to learn. I was getting so pissed off. Luckily, he was there to calm me down as well. Finally, I figured out how to do it. It's hard to learn through text messages, trust me.
Mom was rather annoying today and I wanted her to leave me alone. Josh was actually talking, and he did not seem depressed. I was surprised. Dad, he never talks so I guess there's not much to say.