did he crush you?

To be completely honest, I do not like the person that you have turned out to be at all. You used to be so different. Granted, you always were a lying bitch, but now your actions are not understandable. You've completely turned your whole world around and from a used to be insider's point of view, you were much better the way you were before. Even though we're not so close, I still do care about you. And it would kill me inside to see anything happen to you. I feel as if this is my fault. After all, I kept you in line and I didn't let you get to crazy. I was like your straight jacket only in human form. And I don't think I ever realized it until now. You're completely crazy these days. And I can't help but to think if you and I were still best friends like we used to be, would you be doing this? Would you have changed so much or would you have stayed the same? I never thought I made such an impact on someone's life until I look at you from now an outsiders point of view. I just cannot believe how much has changed. I don't hold as much respect for you now as I did before, but I want you to know that I won't ever let anyone or anything hurt you.

I feel as if I have made a mistake. I honestly don't think I should have talked to you again. I think things are better when you're not around. It was so strange, just because it felt like it was you and me again. It seemed like no one else but you mattered to me. And I don't like that. I planned my world around you, and with you in it. And then one day, I didn't like it anymore. But now, I have planned my world around and with someone else. And as mean as it sounds, I don't want you to intrude in it. We had a chance, we've had more than one, but now things aren't going to work. I wanted you out, so I pushed you out. And you have always taught me that I can't always get what I want. And you know what? Neither can you. So no matter how hard you want back in, I hate to say it, but I won't let you in.

Today, when you and I talked for the first time in a really long time, I remembered some things. I remembered how we used to talk for hours and hours about nothing at all. You shared your personal thoughts with me, and I shared mine with you. You were there for me when I needed someone the most, just as I was to you. Honest, there was a point where I wanted you as much as you wanted me, but we both knew that it would never work out. I would get so frustrated at you to the point where I hated you. And you would probably get frustrated with me, too. But not once did we leave each other's sides. I really do not remember what happened, but I kind of wish it didn't. Now that I think about it, you were probably my best friend. I trusted you and I told you everything. But for some reason, everything changed. Talking every once in a while should be good for us, I think. But who knows if it's actually going to happen. I'd like for you to be a part of my life again, but I can already see some problems that would be caused. And I don't think either of us need that much drama in our lives. So I'm gonna let you slip away, like I have in the past. But never will I let you get too far.