4/27/09

ruff ruff !

Amazing day. (: Woke up in a good mood. First through 6th hour was good. Good time after school. Plus, I got a SMOOTHIE! Yay! What a great day. :D



I have not yet decided if the reappearance of you in my life is a good thing or a bad thing. We've tried this things multiple times before and it just never seemed to work out. I'm beginning to think we've been too moving fast. I don't like it. Maybe if we slow down things will work out for us. I'm not exactly sure. I'm afraid though, to get to close again. Every single time we've done this, we both ended up getting hurt. I don't know if I want to continue to be in a friendship like that. Maybe it's making us stronger, or maybe it's a sign to let me know that we're not supposed to be friends. I really have no idea. I think the best thing for us right now is to go slow and try to make everything better. If it works out for us, great. You really are a good friend to me when you're here and I know I am to you. Not once have I thought that I've lost you for good. Maybe this time it'll work for us. If it doesn't work out for us, then I know now that we're really not meant to be friends. And even though it's hard, I know that you and I are both strong enough to let it be, even though the only thing we want is to fight back.



It has been one month as of today, and I can honestly say I have never been happier. There's something about you that makes me fall harder and harder every time I talk to you. I can't help to want you, even though you're already mine. I can't help it that I miss you whenever you're away. I want to be with you always. We've been through hell and back together. I don't think that many people understand our relationship. How can you go back to someone after they've hurt you so many times? And how can you still care? We've held onto each other for so long, and it's even longer than what people can imagine. Honestly, I didn't think you and I would end up together ever again, but not once did I doubt myself when the thought came back into my mind. It's absolutely crazy how a few days after things fall apart in my life, the same thing happens for you. It's a sign from God. It's exactly what we needed. It was a simple reminder of how much we needed each other. And now that I have you, I don't even want to think about losing you. You have always been there for me, even when we weren't even close. And I don't know if you knew it or not, but I've always been there for you. When I tried to push you out, you came back in. But I was dumb back then. I didn't know that it meant something. It's unbelievable how badly I wanted to just tell you how I felt, but kept holding back because of the past. But then the chance comes for you and I to be together again, and it felt like everything was back into place. I have no idea what I would do without you. You are more than amazing. You've proved to me that no matter what, you're never letting go. I hope that I've proved that to you also. Everytime I begin to think about us, I just smile. There's no one else in this whole entire world that I would rather be with. Honestly, who would have thought? Who would have thought you and I would end up together? I sure as hell didn't. But I am really glad we did. It's amazing how it ended up to be you and me. I have never been so sure of a relationship in my entire lifetime. I was confused. I had no idea that you would be the one who I'd end up with. I wanted what I didn't need. Non admittingly, I wanted you to. And I needed you. I couldn't have you though. And it was literally killing me inside. So I settled for second best. I know now that I deserved better. And I know now that everything is better with you. I'm truly happy now. And I know what I want and where I'm supposed to be, and that's with you.

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