dimelo dimelo dimelo

Oh Jessi... :D

Pretty boring day.

After school was good.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. :D

i <3 i.

Oh Lauren... (: Lmfao.

Anything and everything that I have doubted in this past week, I am more than 100% sure of today.

And it feels great. :D

and i'm guilty! UH UH UH !

Amazingg dayyy. (:

I love Adam. :D

ruff ruff !

Amazing day. (: Woke up in a good mood. First through 6th hour was good. Good time after school. Plus, I got a SMOOTHIE! Yay! What a great day. :D



I have not yet decided if the reappearance of you in my life is a good thing or a bad thing. We've tried this things multiple times before and it just never seemed to work out. I'm beginning to think we've been too moving fast. I don't like it. Maybe if we slow down things will work out for us. I'm not exactly sure. I'm afraid though, to get to close again. Every single time we've done this, we both ended up getting hurt. I don't know if I want to continue to be in a friendship like that. Maybe it's making us stronger, or maybe it's a sign to let me know that we're not supposed to be friends. I really have no idea. I think the best thing for us right now is to go slow and try to make everything better. If it works out for us, great. You really are a good friend to me when you're here and I know I am to you. Not once have I thought that I've lost you for good. Maybe this time it'll work for us. If it doesn't work out for us, then I know now that we're really not meant to be friends. And even though it's hard, I know that you and I are both strong enough to let it be, even though the only thing we want is to fight back.



It has been one month as of today, and I can honestly say I have never been happier. There's something about you that makes me fall harder and harder every time I talk to you. I can't help to want you, even though you're already mine. I can't help it that I miss you whenever you're away. I want to be with you always. We've been through hell and back together. I don't think that many people understand our relationship. How can you go back to someone after they've hurt you so many times? And how can you still care? We've held onto each other for so long, and it's even longer than what people can imagine. Honestly, I didn't think you and I would end up together ever again, but not once did I doubt myself when the thought came back into my mind. It's absolutely crazy how a few days after things fall apart in my life, the same thing happens for you. It's a sign from God. It's exactly what we needed. It was a simple reminder of how much we needed each other. And now that I have you, I don't even want to think about losing you. You have always been there for me, even when we weren't even close. And I don't know if you knew it or not, but I've always been there for you. When I tried to push you out, you came back in. But I was dumb back then. I didn't know that it meant something. It's unbelievable how badly I wanted to just tell you how I felt, but kept holding back because of the past. But then the chance comes for you and I to be together again, and it felt like everything was back into place. I have no idea what I would do without you. You are more than amazing. You've proved to me that no matter what, you're never letting go. I hope that I've proved that to you also. Everytime I begin to think about us, I just smile. There's no one else in this whole entire world that I would rather be with. Honestly, who would have thought? Who would have thought you and I would end up together? I sure as hell didn't. But I am really glad we did. It's amazing how it ended up to be you and me. I have never been so sure of a relationship in my entire lifetime. I was confused. I had no idea that you would be the one who I'd end up with. I wanted what I didn't need. Non admittingly, I wanted you to. And I needed you. I couldn't have you though. And it was literally killing me inside. So I settled for second best. I know now that I deserved better. And I know now that everything is better with you. I'm truly happy now. And I know what I want and where I'm supposed to be, and that's with you.

you want it all!

So today was a really good day. :D



I didn't wear make up today, but Adam said I looked cute. :) I feel so comfortable around him, obviously. And that is a good thing! It was so amazing hanging out with him today! Like everything about it was just great and I can't wait til we hang again! :) It was fucking hot outside today! I got burned yesterday! And I might have a tan from today, but I don't know yet! Josh and I played the sweetest game thing of basketball, no joke! It was a blast. I had a good weekend. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow, but at the same time, I am excited to.

"It was about how this guy would do anything for the girl he loved and in the beginning he threw away his basketball career because he was just told that his girl was pregnant. And I realized that if that were to happen to us, I would do the same. Cause I love you and I have never felt this way about any girl. I care about you so much that I can't ever stop thinking of you."

-I have the cutest boyfriend in the world. :)

i'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete.

The only thing that I actually wanted to do today was see Adam. And the only thing that actually stopped me from seeing him, was my mother. I can't stand her anymore.

So I guess after talking to mom, things got better.Her letting me go back to the game made me happy. And her letting Adam come over made me happy too.

So I guess the bad day turned good with conversation and time.

QUE LATA!

Surprisingly, I had a really good day. There were just a few things that pissed me off.

1. Angelica wasn't there when I needed her.

2. Lauren told me that she hated me, obviously kidding, but it still hurt.

3. Mrs. Bennet taking forever to give us the homework.

4. Josh completely making fun of me in 3rd hour by imitating me.

5. Jessica leaving me alone in 6th hour, the first day where we could move around during movies.

6. Haley taking fucking forever to come to me after school.

7. Mom flipping out on me for not being home for dinner, and my phone being dead.

8. The first baseball game taking so long.

9. Haley not being able to stop talking about Jordan for one fucking second.

10. The second baseball game taking literally forever to be over.

11. Again, Haley. Complicating my life.

12. Mom and Dad being so protective and not letting me stay out later than 9.

13. Not being able to be with Adam as much as I want to be.

How could this possibly be a good day?

I'm upset now, and I want to cry. I just can't take people and their bullshit anymore.

it's george lopez day!

Unexpectedly, but greatly, the day started off more than amazing and it only got better.

I finally removed the red hair tie that Alfonso gave me from my wrist. I used to wear it all the time and then when we stopped talking, I took it off. I left it in my purse and when he and I started talking again, he asked me to put it back on. So I did. But I noticed now that him and I don't ever talk anymore. And when we do, he's just an annoyance to me. I feel like he's no longer a part of me, but I think it's okay. He was basically my life support. I couldn't get by without him. But then Adam became a part of my life, which lead to my pushing out Alfonso. I feel so terrible to think it. And even more terrible to say or write it. But now that I know Adam is here to stay, I don't need Alfonso.

I knew that I would explode at least once today, but who knew that I would take it to the extreme that I did. My jealousy is becoming a problem and I really don't like it. It's like, the minute that I see Adam talking to another girl, I wanna hit her. And the minute that he mentions something about another girl, even if he's insulting her, I want to get her out of his mind and make him only think of me. I'm selfish when it comes to him, and I'm not sharing with anyone. Tyler is the only exception and that's only because they're best friends. Now that I realize it, him saying that he misses Haley isn't even that big of deal. Like, she was crying and he didn't go after her. And if I was crying, he would have came after me. And he proved it. When I tried to get up and leave him today, he pulled me back, sat me down, put his arm around me and told me that it was going to be okay. I knew that I had to stop worrying, I just couldn't. The things that he says when I'm down are so cute. Like, he's never leaving, he's not going to get mad at me for anything, he's happy, he loves me... I don't know. It just makes me feel so much better than all of the other girls in the world, just because I have him. And I actually kinda believe that I'm better than them. I really don't deserve him, but everything that's ever happened between us just proves to me that we're really meant to be together. And I couldn't be happier. :)

Deep conversations are always good, but when they're with Adam, they're even better. Laying on his bed, as close as we can be, looking into each others eyes, just telling each other about our life. We talk about the ways that we were taught to love. I feel so much when I'm with him. We exchange stories from our past about how when we were with someone else, or talking to someone else, and we'd just think about each other the whole time, are simply amazing. The fact that he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him when we were both involved with someone else obviously tells us something. These conversations make me realize how much I've always cared for him, and how much he's always cared for me. Thinking of how we promise to never leave each other, doesn't scare me one bit. I don't mind the fact that we talk about it. I want to be with him for a long period of time. I changed and I can trust myself this time. These conversations are reassuring to me. They remind me of what we've been through and how much more we could get through. I know that I want to be with him. Like, I've never been more sure about a relationship in my entire lifetime. These conversations make me realize how much we truly are meant to be together.

do not try to make babies.

Oh, Chase. :)



So just wondering, but since when is it a big deal to have a C? Last time I checked, it was average. Average is good. Why can't people just understand that? Because they're dumb, that's why! They set high expectations that are sometimes nearly impossible to reach. Plus, they can't blame me for this. And they can't blame Adam. It's nowhere near his fault. Maybe if I actually had good teachers, then I would have no problems. But apparently if things don't get better then I'm not even allowed to see my boyfriend? Yeah, that's bullshit.



My patience has been wearing thin. Internally, I flip out at everything. But I'm too afraid to externally. And I'm glad that I don't. I'm just afraid. I want to calm down. I need to calm down. I often wonder if this is a side effect of anger management. I hope it's not. But I sometimes think I have anger problems. I don't know. There's just a part inside of me where I feel I'm going to explode.




I think I've had enough for the day.

she's in the book?! WHOAA !

I had a pretty good day. (: People were less annoying, which was good. Adam came over. It was the best. :D I guess I'm excited for tomorrow too. :)

take me in your arms and hold me.

Extremely boring day.

I think tomorrow will be better though. (:

shed some light on me,

Boring day.

Lazy day.

Rainy day.

No bike riding.

No Adam.

No writing.

A lot of texting.

A lot of thinking.

A lot of nothing.

I don't wanna go back to school.

hey little mama, why you dance so funky!

I hung out with Maria today for the first time in over a month! I was happy to see her. And I think things are gonna start going better between us now. With us talking more and such. And that's good. I've missed my best friend.

I was with Adam all day today. :) We watched Nickelodean and went for a walk. :) I had a good time. But when don't I?

Rachel and Haley also came over today. That was fun. I missed them too! I wish Lauren could have came though. :( We chased after the ice cream man ! Haha, I had a good day. :)

omg, you're dating a blotch?!

Lmfao, I love Maria. :D

Got up at 8:30 today, but I didn't have a problem with it. Adam came over at 10. That was fun. He's cute. :D After that we walked to Mcdonalds to meet Josh, Becca and Tyler. Then they ate and we walked them home. It was an interesting walk. Tyler's strange sometimes. Ha. After that Josh and I had to walk all the way back home. :( That seemed to take forever. We were dancing and singing though so it was all good. :) Haha. We ended up going back to Mcdonalds cause we wanted to eat. Then we played some music and danced again. And we made up our own language! Lmfao. "We spend a lot of time together. " "We live in the same house!" Lmfao. We're so dumb, but I love him. :) He is my bosschum, mann. Haha. I went to Adam's house today with Josh too. He left for awhile though. And Adam and I talked. We had some pretty good conversations. And I feel like everytime we hang out we get closer. :) But I'm happy. That's all that matters, right ? :)

too much cocaine! *dance*

Whooooooo ! What a fun day. (: Woke up to the vaccuum, ughh. I've been way too lazy to even do anything with my hair. And it looks like shit. Tomorrow I have a plan to straighten it and put effort into getting ready, unlike the last few days. Today I talked to Anthony for the first time since January. And then I saw him at 711. It was kind of awkward... Josh is fine now, and I kinda feel bad for being annoying to him yestereday... Oh well. We had a dance party today! Haaa, it was a blast. Then Adam came over. :D He fell asleep on me! Oh well. And he actually beat me in Mario Kart today. Yoshi's Island. He got 1st, I got 4th. He got lucky, that's what we got! I also FINALLY beat the whole entire Seppu Kuties game! YAY ! Ha, I had a good day. :D

you're a cute douche.

Hung out with Adam allll day today. :) Seriously, like alllll day. :D Things didn't exactly end up the way that we thought they would. It was fun though. I never knew how much fun we'd have together. He's so cuute, :). We get along so easily. And I love how we can make fun of each other constantly. And how we beat each other up, haaa. We have a very strange relationship, but I wouldn't want it any other way. :D

you don't give piss squirts about her anymore?

Whoo ! Adam came over today and it was extremely fun! I found his ticklish spots! (: Hahaha, he got me good. I got him back though! Josh was in a better mood today, which is good ! I can't wait until tomorrow! Maria comes home! :D It was overall a good day!

put me to sleep, evil angel.

Woke up in a good mood. I was completely motivated to do anything. I finally hung up all my signs on the wall, and it looks sweet! I listened to the song that reminds me of Maria today, and I realized how much I missed her. She's coming back in 2 days! Went to Adam's home today. (: Watched Descent or something ? I don't know, but it was dumb. He made it interesting though ! His mom is nice and I like her. (: Hmmm, I'm really bored and tired. But for the most part, I had a good day. (:

seriously though, no one wants to hear you.

Today was an extremely boring day. Today was the first day in over two weeks that I didn't see Adam. :( I had a deep conversation with Mike today and I was wrong to think I wanted to let him go. I connected with Alyssa today. And that's a good thing because I know we could really be great friends if we put more effort into it. I'm glad that Jessica is in a better mood and I think we're gonna start to get close again. I miss Rachel, Lauren, and Haley and I really don't think that the four of us are ever going to hang out together again. I guess whatever's meant to be will be though, even if I don't like it. /: I heard from Maria last night. She's okay! I am so glad because I was honestly worried out of my mind about her. Only three days til she comes home! And I cannot wait to see her. (:

shut up, farttuck.

I had a good day. (:

everyone rolls in dog shit.

Today wasn't exactly THE April 10th that it could have been.

But honestly, it was just as good.

yo viv OH en westland.

Oh Jessi... (:

The day started off bad when I opened my locker to a fricken mutated squirrel. I hate Tyler. History was boring. Hassan visited in Algebra today! Spanish with Jessi and Lamb is always fun. (: Missy is getting annoying, but whatever. Mr. O'Brien is a jerk and I wanna hit him. Jessica actually told me about her life today, and I feel like that's a good thing. The other thing that upset me was the fact that everyone knows now. But I guess I don't really care anymore. (:

they're not so cute when they rip your face off !

The dogs came today and I wasn't as excited about it this year as I was last year. I guess it's because I didn't get to see it happen this year, oh well. I had a pretty good day. The only thing that upset me was the amount of people that know! But I guess it really doesn't matter. It was definately perfect timing today and I can't believe I did it. I love Haley more than I did before and I seriously owe her. Who else would fall asleep on the couch for me? (: I've got a good life, and I can't wait for break.

the little lamb of light.

Oh, Zach... (:

I was not so worried today. A burst of reassurance came my way. I know now that Maria and her family is safe.

School was alright. I kept busy so I wasn't so worried.

Today was great and I'm looking forward to the days that come. (:

the day the earthquake hit.

There was an earthquake in L'Aquila, Italy today. It killed over 150 people, injured 1500 others and left about 100,000 people homeless. L'Aquila is about 70 miles northeast of Rome.

Normally, I could care less about things like this. The only reason I care this time, is because Maria and her family are in Italy right now. I have been worrying about them all day. And I hope to God that they're fine.

listen to your heart, and hold onto your dreams.

"So like three weeks before Jessica and I split, I had a feeling it was coming. And I tried to get you to say that you still liked me, but you said no... So one night I asked God if I could ever have another chance with you and if so, I would never ask anything big from him again. That is why I thank God I am with you again; Because you are the person I truly want to be with and have loved for awhile."

YEAHHH, making out in the back of the school !

MOST BORING DAY OF MY LIFEEE ! XD

I saw Mille or whatever the hell it's called today. It was dumb! But Adam was there so it's all good. (:

you're the lamb, and i'm the cougar.

Clearly, I am much faster than you. That is why I always win. And guess what, Lamb! I kicked your ass again !

Blahh, today was not a very good day. After school was good though. (:

the heat rises and i'm down here.

"I know wrong!"

"Wong!"

"Wong! Lmao! You ain't talking to Chase, sweetheart."

Oh, Adam... (:

you're so tall ! APRIL FOOLS !

April Fools Day is so dumb.